


Overly Dramatic Optomertrist

by BluSkates



Series: Six Kinds of Love is a fantastic read [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 12:34:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10764366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluSkates/pseuds/BluSkates
Summary: I can’t fully stress how deeply buried in my cheek my tongue is while I wrote this. The story you are about to read two sentences of and then hit the backspace button is a gag gift to the ever lovely Frilly-Axolotl and her story “Six Kinds of Love”. If you haven’t read it, please do, it’s brilliant! We were joking in the comments and I threatened that if glasses were not put on Yuuri’s face soon I would write the world’s worst scene. Here it is…





	Overly Dramatic Optomertrist

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Frilly_Axolotl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frilly_Axolotl/gifts).



Yuuri’s heart raced up to his mouth as the car sped wildly through the Russian streets. With each sharp turn and quick stop he become more horrified. The prayers changed from a safe delivery to a swift and painless death as they approached midtown St. Petersburg. Otabek’s driving was horrible, but the truly unsettling thing was how everyone else in the car remained unphased.

Yuri’s little blonde head bobbed up and down to the music blaring through the headphones. Viktor remained focused on his phone playing with some ridiculous app. While Yuuri, in the front seat felt exactly like he did when Yuko had forced him into the front car of a rollercoaster. The first and last time he had gone to a carnival.

Flicking a quick look over the driver Yuuri saw the locked jaw, white knuckles, and death-like eyes on Otabek’s face. If there was a man ready to use a car as a weapon, he was sitting next to the small Japanese man.

_I don’t need glasses. We should go back now._

It had been almost a month since Yuuri and Yuri were rescued, well traded to, Viktor and Otabek. They were skating over a month ago, when the overhead announcements asked one of them to report to the office. They met at the office, Yuuri thinking it was interesting that Yuri was a common name in Russia. Yuri annoyed AF that he was off the ice. What happened next was the most horrifying experience and ushered in a life of pain for both men. They were kidnapped, stripped and sold that evening. Their new owners a set of sadistic pigs who tortured Yuuri endlessly while leaving Yuri alone, until the last day. Somehow, and Yuuri was still unsure on the details, they were handed over to Viktor as payment on a debt.

Viktor was nothing like those men. He insisted that both Yuris were free, they were not property, they were not slaves, and most importantly, they were not being hurt. Yuri adapted to his new life quickly. His former owners had left him alone as a bet they made with Yuuri, who agreed to take all of Yuri’s torture on his behalf. Yuuri was not adapting quickly but with the help of a ray of sunshine named Phichit.

But just as Yuuri was thinking he would never see Phichit alive again the car came to a screeching halt in the lane of traffic. The cars around them sounded their horns and shouted obscenities in Russian, many of which Yuuri was loathe to admit he understood. Thanks to his last owners he knew some Russian, but it wasn’t conversational. Otabek glared into the rearview mirror, backing the car into a spot in front of a series of shops. The cars behind him were battling to move out of the large black Suburban’s path as Otabek made it clear he would not broker with fools.

The four exited the car and Yuuri thanked Jesus that he was delivered alive.

_Oh, wait, I’m Shinto…_

“Yuuri, we are here and you will get glasses!” Viktor slung an arm around the narrow shoulders.

Yuuri cringed under the touch, still horrified by being close to people and contact with them.

Viktor smiled down, trying to show he understood. “The people in the store will find it odd that I’m getting you glasses. So it’s best to pretend you are… you are my…” Viktor looked sick. Yuuri had to laugh a little at this, the car ride didn’t upset his stomach but the thought of owning a human did.

+++

The waiting room inside the office was very nondescript. Viktor and Otabek agreed on the time to meet back, as Yuri needed clothing. They had both come to Viktor’s household owning nothing but what was on their back, and those were filthy rags.

A small woman sat behind a large desk, furiously filling her nails. “Can I help you?” She asked without looking up.

“Yes, Viktor Nikiforov, I have an appointment.”

The girl froze and her eyes slowly lifted up, off her nails, and onto Viktor’s smiling face. “Oh. My. God!” She jumped up, “Judi, get out here!” She screamed into the backroom. Judi joined her behind the desk and the two girls looked at each other, then at Viktor, then back at each other the screamed. “Oh. My. God! He’s looked just like on google!”

Viktor frowned and looked at Yuuri. “Uhm… so my family…”

“We’ve never had a Russian Mafia Guy in here before” Judi said, she was trying to push her breasts up and out at him while chomping on her gum.

“Well, I’m not actually…” Viktor stammered.

“So like have you killed lots of guys?” The first girl asked, toying with a pendant on a long chain around her neck.

 _Evidently all Russian Mafia Guys are supposed be to breast men._ Yuuri thought with a smirk.

“Whores! Shut it!” an overly skinny woman with very sharp features came out of the dark inspection room. The two girls merely pouted and sat down. The tall thin woman advanced on Yuuri extending her hand, “Dr. Baranovskaya, Lilia, please. Come with me,” she turned, then stopped and studied Viktor for a moment, “you go sit.”

She led Yuuri into the darkened room, “how long have you been without glasses?”

“A little over a year.”

She hummed acceptance and began to work putting together lenses for him to try. “Nearsighted?”

“Yes.”

“My ex, he would never admit that he was nearsighted.” Lilia slammed down a bottle of solution on the sink before moving back to Yuuri, he tensed up, sensing her frustration. “He was forever squinting at things, at people, at tarts like those two!” She pointed to her door, indicating her two receptionists.

“Oh, I’m sorry…” Yuuri stammered.

“Yes, well, the past is in the past. Right?” She moved close to him with a tiny flashlight. The doctor seemed to calm down as she looked at his eyes to check for ocular damage. Yuuri relaxed a little at the clinical familiarity with which she conducted herself.

“Read the lowest line…”

Yuuri rattled off a series of letters and numbers while the doctor got a small ruler ready.

“Very good. You’ll be able to leave with glasses today, we have your prescription in stock.” She started again fitting him for frames, “but I knew that he was cheating!” She pulled back and used the ruler to emphasize her vehemence. “I could smell them! Smell the little tarts!” She was wildly pointing the ruler at Yuuri, puncturing the words in rhythm.

Yuuri pulled back, squirming into the large chair as her aim went wide, almost hitting an eye. “Oh, well, that’s bad.”

“Bad! It’s terrible. Do you know what I did before I was a doctor?”

Yurri shrugged and shook his head.

She rose herself up in her seat and rolled forward into his space, “I was the premier ballerina for the Bolshoy.” She swung her chair across the room to grab a picture, then rolled with scary speed and efficiency back to Yuuri, shoving the framed picture into his face. “That! That was the woman, the body, he cheated on.”

Yuuri wasn’t sure if he was mean to take the photo and remained frozen. Bringing up his hands he nearly lost a finger as she ripped the sharp frame out of his grasp and flung it across the room. It landed with a loud crash.

“I gave up the ballet, I gave up everything for him. So he could do what? Skate and have dalliances with floosies!” She sobbed and threw her head into his lap.

Yuuri was frozen in terror. First, there was a crying crazy woman in his lap. Second, she had used the word dalliances. Yuuri worried he was in some maudlin gothic novel, or at least a horribly written fanfic. He put a hand on her head and thought of the only thing that came to mind “there, there.”

“Oh, you are too kind!” She rose and met his eye, hers filled with tears. “But I have to go on. I have to live.” She pulled a set of glasses out of the drawer by her desk, and settled them on his face. “I have to find someone else. Someone younger, maybe?”

Yuuri could see! He could read the letters on the wall, he could see the door, her coat in the corner, the sink at the far end of the room, the lust in her eyes, the stool at the… wait, lust in her eyes? What?

“Maybe, someone like you?” Her hand fell softly on his knee and slowly traveled up his thigh.

Yuuri jumped at the intimacy of the touch and uttered a squeak.

“Maybe someone I could show something to…” she leaned in purring at him.

Yuuri backed into the chair, pulling his legs up to his chest and away from her roaming hands. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, I’m a patient of your.” He began to panic. This praying mantis woman looked like she was going mate and… well, do what every female praying mantis does after mating (rip the head off of her mate and eat him - what, Yuuri likes google).

Lilia pulled back, confused by his rejection. “What, you don’t like women?”

“Yes!” Yuuri said, perhaps a little too enthusiastically. “Yes, I do not like women.”

She pursed her lips, “tragic. You are good looking. I would break you in half.”

Yuuri gulped and thanked Jesus for making him gay.

_Oh wait, I’m still Shinto._

 

+++

Yuuri almost ran out of the office, he could offer no more love advice and really didn’t want to know anymore of the intimacies of Russian love. Viktor was hovering over the reception desk, the two formerly excited and very willing girls were now bored AF glaring at him as he showed them pictures on his phone.

“And here’s one of Makka getting a bath!” He turned the phone to the girls.

“Great. Wow.” The original girl deadpanned.

“Do you have any friends?” Judi asked, “maybe who are hot and interesting?”

“No.” Viktor answered unphased by the obvious insult. “Oh, here he is at Easter! He’s wearing bunny ears!”

The girls couldn’t even fake interest at this point. “Oh look your friend’s done.” Judi pointed at Yuuri with annoyance. She got up and muttered “the Russian mafia is so not scary.”

“Right!” her friend accepted Viktor’s credit card to pay for the appointment and glasses.

Yuuri found he was actually looking forward to getting back in the car.

+++

Phichit had stayed home with Chris. He was horribly disappointed to be left behind in the house. The little Thai man missed being able to come and go as he pleased. It was odd what a person missed when they were forced into being house-bound. Running errands, going for a walk, getting a coffee, all were now an impossibility to the man as he was a slave. Even though Viktor treated him with kindness and equality, the little Thai man felt stuck in his life.

“You look great, I love them! Blue suits you.” Phichit took Yuuri’s hands and led him to the island in the kitchen, sitting Yuuri down on one side and him on the other. Phichit leaned forward, hands fisted under his chin, “so tell me all about it!”

Yuuri thought for a moment. “Phi, let’s never leave this house again.”

**Author's Note:**

> Dear Frilly,  
> here ya go. A very dramatic, absolutely needless, utterly moronic trip to get glasses on Yuuri's face.  
> #letyuurisee  
> <3  
> BluSkates


End file.
